Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unknown, emotions thrown

No chance to relax, or live life to the max

Sense of fear, life not in gear

Overthinking, fear of sinking

Nothing makes sense anymore 

Nothing linking, please stop thinking

Can't take much more

Feel like being shown the door

My life has been shaken to it's core

I'm a fighter, I will win this war.

Menopause Madness

Hot sweats at night

Day time hot flushes

Brain fog, well what do you know?

Feeling high, Feeling  low

Weight gain, mushy brain

Toss and turn at night

Tinnitus, racing heart

Sometimes I just want to take flight

You hit the menopause 

Everything goes south

Got to be very careful 

What comes out of my mouth 

Not feeling like myself 

Feel like some worn out toy

Left lonely on the shelf 

Myself

Not really liking myself right now

Lot's of things I'd change

Just gotta discover how

I've never been the kind of person

That makes people wanna say WOW!

Need to sort my head out

I'm not the person I want to be

I want to be a different person people see

I know the person I am Isn't me

Only I can change myself

And my way of thinking

I know I can stop myself

From slowly slowly sinking!

As with everything it will take time

Changes always do

I look forward to the day

When someone says Is that really you?

Up's And Downs

Up's and downs

Smiles and frowns

Monsters and clowns

Swimming? or drowns

Life is a merry go ride

Get dizzy at the sights

Step off if you dare

The stairs have many flights

Fight or flight?

Day or night?

Darkness or light?

Sweet dreams, sleep tight

Life has many ways

Of making you choose your path

Decisions decisions

Whether to cry or laugh

You decide............

CHILDHOOD

                   

                         It kinda feels like I imagine Alice would of felt like.Falling, falling, constantly falling.
                       

                         Not knowing when it will stop, or where it will stop.
   

                         Children they say should be seen and not heard. I really wish this had been the case.

                         Children can be so so cruel, nasty, spiteful, unkind, thoughtless specimins.


                          Words, throw away words. Sharp, cutting, embedded in your brain forever.

A Year Without You Mum.

A year without you mum

Here with All of us

A year without you

Telling us all not to fuss

Life just isn't the same anymore 

Some days can be so hard

Simple things like

Not writing you out a birthday card

Not hugging you

Not telling you all my woes

The weeks have gone so fast

And so the first year goes

It doesn't get any easier 

We just find different ways to cope

We know you are looking over us

Filling our hearts with hope

We miss you so very much

It's just hard to comprehend

You weren't just my mum

You were also my best friend 

I miss you so much mum ❤ ♥ xxxx

Black Christmas

The black Christmas tree

Stands six feet tall 

Like a symbol of morbid

warning

The faded stained advent calendar 

Displays the number  twenty four

Christmas day is dawning

The limp lifeless tinsel

Looks old, tired, and worn

The broken tree decorations 

All shabby and torn

The table is laid

Displaying a gristly feast

One for the maggots to enjoy at least

Half empty wine  glasses 

Of red vintage wine

Back in the day they knew how to dine

Remains of discoloured party hats

Half pulled crackers

Could this Christmas scene 

Become any blacker?

Battered and broken toys

Lay strewn on the floor

Disillusioned children 

Not wanting to play with them anymore 

White Christmas  appears

On the television screen 

Bing Crosby singing

Looking warped and obscene 

The radio blares out silent night

The dark angel on top of the Christmas tree

Suddenly takes flight 

The mobile phone alarm 

Rings out a sombre tune

Black Christmas has arrived 

Not a moment too soon